For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit,
and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
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SAMPLE CHAPTER FROM PERSONAL HELP FOR GIRLS
LEARNING HOW TO CONVERSE WITH OTHERS
Learning how to talk with other people might not seem to be important right now, but it is one of the most important aspects of being a believer. How you converse with others is how you be a light unto the world.
Christ told us all to, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel."
As women, we do this through our actions as well as our words.
If you are painfully shy, which there is absolutely nothing wrong with being shy, you might want to pay careful attention regarding the following suggestions to help you in this area.
The Importance of Being Well-Read on Womanhood
The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 14:34, "Let your women keep silence in the churches; for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law, and if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home; for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."
This is a very hard Scripture if you are a woman. In our day, we are taught that women and men are equal in every area. Many women get hurt and very angry when they read this Scripture.
Please know, that one belief that our Grandparents generation had concerning this passage was that the men were to be the heads of the household. When a woman took the place of the man, the man started becoming submissive to the woman, and the woman started becoming domineering and authoritative. They believed that by having the women keep quiet, and keeping their children quiet, that the men could then take their rightful positions as the head of the household and the spiritual head of the family.
But this doesnt mean that women werent to talk at all! Oh, no! Women and men were called to encourage one another daily. The older women were taught to teach the younger women homemaking skills. How could they do this if they were silent all the time? They couldnt! We are all called to converse and encourage one another.
This leads to the main thought of this chapter. Every word you speak should be to encourage those who hear you.
Now what would a young lady have to speak about in order to encourage those around her? Wouldnt it be wonderful if you could be an encourager in the Scriptures regarding Christian womanhood?
And in order to encourage others, you must have knowledge of such things. This is where studying what the Bible has to say regarding this fascinating subject comes in. You must be well-versed and knowledgable on Christian femininity.
Do you remember what your older sisters in Christ are to teach you?
The Bible says, "The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5
These things are what you are to be learning and what you are to be discussing with others. These things are what Gods young ladies are commanded to be doing.
You are not married now, but you should be focusing on learning to be a good wife. Now is the time to learn these things, not after you are married! And what better way to help instill and seal these things in your heart, but to be able to converse with other young ladies like yourself. And not only with the young ladies, but with your older sisters in the Lord, just as this Scripture teaches.
Finding Topics of Interest
Finding topics of interest to talk with others shouldnt be too difficult considering all the things there are to do if you are female! There are endless projects that you might have found. Such as making different jellies; cross stitch and whether you like working with one string or two; different cleansers you have discovered right in your very home, such as vinegar to clean with; or discussing an interesting article you have read in school. Remember that you are to encourage others in Christian girlhood and womanhood, and that any seemingly trivial piece of information is worthwhile, when trying to lift up others. You can also talk the Scriptures, but remember to stay off subjects that might be controversial and that should be left to a Bible Study or Church Meeting with the men in control. This stops many unpleasant disputes that may arise over a certain passage. Women should be kind and gentle towards one another, not disputing over words in anger.
Practice Talking Topics With Family and Friends
There are many families that have never learned to talk with one another. This is so very sad, for God has given families as a special gift. Children are a blessing from the Lord and God has given them to be trained and nurtured by loving parents.
There is no better place to learn how to discuss topics than with your family. If your family hasnt yet discovered this wonderful art, talk with your parents and ask them if you could start doing this today!
Many families use dinner time to talk about things that they have learned or experiences that they have had throughout the day. If you are just learning to converse, simply start by telling about something that you have read that day in school.
There was one young girl who was very quiet, and very shy, and it was very difficult for her to talk to others. Her mother simply had her say one thing that she had done that day. At first all she would say was, "I did my school." But the next week she would say, "I read in my English book that God says words are the basis of the Scriptures and that it is important that we learn to read them." Then the next week she would soon be talking even more about interesting topics in her readers!
Be a Very Good Listener
There is one important thing to always remember when you are talking with someone... If you cant think of anything to say, simply ask about, and be genuinely concerned with the person you are speaking to!
This is Biblical! Do you remember what James told us? We are to be QUICK TO HEAR!!!! SLOW TO SPEAK!!!!
To be a good listener and a good conversationalist, you must also remember to stop thinking about yourself! Think about the other person you are talking to, and make it your duty to put them at ease. They might be just as uncomfortable at making conversation as you. In fact, always assume that people are nervous, and make it your pleasure to make them feel comfortable. Think of others, not yourself.
When you are a good listener, people will always be inclined to relax and talk.
Remember, always become genuinely interested in others and make yourself forget about YOU!
A List of Things to Avoid
There are some things to avoid when speaking to others:
~Do not talk too much about yourself.
~Do not exalt yourself or be a braggart.
~Do not interrupt others when they are talking. Let them finish.
~Do not be too familiar.
~Do not ever use coarse language or slang when speaking.
~Do not gossip or talk about others.
~Do not be sarcastic.
~Do not embarrass people.
~Do not talk down to others.
~Dont compete with other peoples stories...